1st Birthday In Heaven

It's been almost 6 months since my Mom passed on to be with the Lord yet it seems like only days ago. There has never been a day that I didn't think of her, how loving, patient and caring she has always been to me. Ever since my Dad passed on more than 2 years ago, she has always showed strength, never showing that she was sad yet I could not imagine the pain she must feel when she's alone and missing my Dad. She was always cheery, singing as she would do the dishes or as she pressed our clothes. It was easy to make her laugh and she would always appreciate every small thing I did for her, every small gift was something grand to her as long as it came from me and Jel. She always saw the bright side of everything. She never got in our way and would always make sure not to burden us with anything. When she was not with us, she would always be excited when I would call her on the phone and tell her about my day at work. She would always listen and laugh at the corniest of my jokes. And tell me to be careful as I went home. She gave unselfishly of herself, her time and whatever little money she would have from her pension just to make sure that I had what I need.
Today is my Mom's birthday and if she were here she would cook her specialty - Sarsa Prinsesa and make sure that she made it with all love and care as she always did. I miss my Mama. I am filled with sadness today but at the same time I have a bit of gladness knowing that this is her first birthday with my Dad again and with the Lord, overflowing with inexpressible joy in heaven. I love you Mama and I miss you.


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On my way to work today, I get to hear my first Christmas song for the year on the radio. "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus". I hear it and I say to myself, "Geez, it's Christmas." There's a certain sadness that hits me like a thunderbolt whenever I hear Christmas songs. It brings me back to the time when I was a kid. My folks always gave me the best that they could. While every other kid had that convertible die-cast robot that they wanted, I had a plastic imitation. While everyone else was buying stuff, I was just looking on. I'm not saying that I never got anything good whenever Christmas came around. Christmas songs just bring me back to that time, our old house, my cousins, all of us kids. At my age I get to thinking that that's what Christmas is, just for kids. The other kids.

It's sad not knowing what's going to happen to your life. Uncertainty is a difficult thing to cope with. You win some, you lose more. Trying your best sometimes just does not cut it. Well most of the time.. It’s a matter of priorities they say. Unconcerned, I am not.